Errata

I have several long posts that discuss Matt's Last Days.  Unfortunatley, during that ordeal I was also experiencing technical difficulties, including losing my cell phone and having to rely on a very flaky tablet which is since pining for the fjords. Let's not even talk about the problems I have had with the Blogger Ap. It will take me a day or so to get the material transferred OFF the broken Blogger Ap on my phone and back here. Sorry for your inconvenience.

Nov 11.

This is it. 

Matt has been given the news that he has a few weeks left. They've done everything they can. The cancer is progressing and the previous chemo and radiation didn't make the dent. 

His breathing is labored, his white count is still high. (126000+ now)  He has deteriorated more in the past few days than he has in months combined.

His vaunted agressive oncologist was going to get a second biopsy because the last one didn't get enough cells to tell what kind of cancer it is, or rather we do sorta know but we don't know what kind of chemo will treat it.  But they aren't sure he'd make it thorugh the biopsy.

Even if he did, it would take two weeks to get the results. We don't have that kind of time.

YES, doctors can be wrong.

We're praying for a miracle. We are  praying for time to do the things that Matt needs to do.

I'm exhausted. 

I'm pissed.  

I'm devastated. 

Friends are en route.  I love you all.

Nov 10. Part II

So I had this awkward conversation with the Social Worker about her suggesting that Matt may need a care facility after he is released from the hospital. She said flat out that they weren't even considering discharge at this time, but they thought I should start thinking about this if it is needed.

Watching him breathe is still painful.

Treatment for the lung thing is scheduled for tomorrow, if I remember correctly. He's also getting radiation. His last treatment is Friday.

White count is even higher than I thought... 110  (or 110,000) They are switching back to the old antibiotic because the new one has zero effect.

Nov. 10

I've been a bit stressed.  Sorry about the lack of update.

HE's been moved out of ICU and back into Oncology.  He's having more trouble breathing and having difficulty adjusting to the new pain regimen. They can't give him the same pain meds he needs because he's not in acute care anymore (INSERT RANT ABOUT CANCER WARDS BEING UNABLE TO DO ADEQUATE PAIN MANAGEMENT).  Hopefully they'll figure something out.

But he's got good people and we all know each other. And they can give him sleep aids.

They are talking about experimental treatment, and there are two new oncologists, not just one.

Turns out the cancer cells in his lungs are different than what's growing elsewhere. His white count is still high, and they are trying new antibiotics.

They are still waiting for results for the biopsy.

I had a good talk with the Aunt in question and so I have some help getting information out to family. But my cell phone is now in michigan, and so my ability to run my life has become a lot harder. 

Also...

I may be moving very soon.  

I woke up too early this morning thanks to a panic attack.  Mostly health related paranoia. I'll live.

Nov 5.

Yesterday I went to go see Matt.
Not a whole lot was said, except that he wants his mother to come as well as his aunt.

Um, okay.

Today, he told me not to come because he felt awful...

They did a localized CAT scan. It was an ordeal that has utterly left him exhausted.

But... now they think that the stuff in his lungs isn't cancer but fluid.

I'm still processing this. I know it's fantastic news, but I'm still... numb or something.
I went out of my way to express heartfelt thanks in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
I even got an hour in, thanks be to the monks that run the place.

Nov 3.

This is a red letter day for furry rodentia living in my house.  

YOU. WILL. DIE.

That is all.

UPDATE: Info you actually came here to read...

Matt has a  new doctor on his team who has some ideas about what to do next.

The cyst/swollen lymph node is starting to shrink, even without radiation.  This is a good sign.

On the "other news" front, they had to give him another unit of blood. He was VERY pale when I saw him

at 2:00 or thereabouts. Also tired and out of it. He was looking much better when I came back, which was shortly after the blood was administered.  Apparently his platelets are low. And it is thought that this is a source of many of his problems.  I suspect this has Significance to oncologists. 

What it means?

Not so sure.  It is hard to ignore that various hospital-ly interventions are required to keep him looking

and thinking well.  Generally they don't put someone back in ICU because one is doing better.

He's also on oxygen now.  I don't know for how long,but his OX levels were a bit low.  He is now much perkier than when I saw him before, but still pretty tired. He did't sleep well last night, and he still seems exhausted from PT.

If that weren't enough, his aunt... AND his mother are coming back this weekend.

I'm happy to see his aunt, who is Matt's favorite relative and all around awesome lady.   But... I reacted vociferously to his mother "not" inviting herself along.  When I first reported this news to Matt, he seemed like he was on the same page and told me he'd take care of it so we can spend some quality time with his favorite aunt.

But... now he's changed his mind and swears this is a good thing. That he can-- or at least should-- deal with both of them at the same time. That this will somehow give us more slack in future. 

 Um, really? 

 I'm NOT pleased by this. 

But, it is my duty to execute his wishes, and not alter them for my comfort.  I'm also not getting "roll over" vibes from him, so there's that.

She implied in her last letter that there is still information she wants/needs but I've pretty much told her all that I know.  *shrug*

Here we go again.

Nov 2.

Matt's NOT being sent home today.  Yes, we are shocked.

Friends with medical bent said so long before it was a confirmed rumor.

At this time we don't know when he is being discharged, but we do know he is on antibiotics until November 8, (That would be, our 7th Anniversary) and they are inter-venous at this time. We've heard rumors they will put him on pills (which he hates) and, for various reasons, he has trouble taking pills.

Matt is not being discharged util he's been evaluated for surgery.  Second, his oncology care is being transferred to Dr Z, who was our radiation oncologist. This is happy news, as this man we trust to guide us to Hell and back, let alone oversee Matt's treatment. This is the very excellent doctor who kept a good eye on us while he was getting radiation treatment.

Rumor has it he MIGHT be transferred to Oncology floor, as he is pretty much done with Rehab. Performance wise, they give him a gold star.
....

UPDATE: They are sending him to IMCU. So... second floor. Wait, did they mean IMCV?  Okay, bad Latin Numerals joke.

Just FYI: your generous donations provided me one super well cleaned room. The bedroom is now done outside of reorganization. The carpets haven't looked that nice since... ever. I don't think they were that nice when we moved in.  And... did I mention clear surface areas? Who knew?

This means I have the energy to clean the kitchen and his bathroom sufficiently he can bathe himself.
That is a treasure beyond rubies. Thank you all, and especially shout outs to J & A for taking time out of already insane busy schedules to take care of me, and also help show that this was not insurmountable-- and to apply therapeutic ass kickings when necessary.

While we are handing out thanks, I should also thank JK, MB, KW, and the Evil but Beautiful Space Princess for the all-consuming task of keeping me out of the insane asylum.  Special thanks to DW, for keeping an eye on my wall, and SO for poking me to update this thing again.